March 4, 2011
All this week, the right words have been elusive, mentally writing posts that sound so poignant in my head yet whose words scatter soon as the computer screen comes to life. There seems a need of the appropriate thing to say or to share that we've done so those of you who follow our story know that we're OK.
I'm just going to come right out and tell you, we are OK. Not great, but OK.
Life is moving forward. It really isn't an option to let it move along without us and so we stay the course. The hard truth is that the course isn't anywhere near what we expected. We dreamed and planned and researched every 'what if' except the one that so abruptly became our reality. We were prepared but not for this.
Until the dust settles and our new normal sorts itself out, we'll stick to doing what we know, with the understanding that we are defined by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us.
We are strong. Our love runs deep and far and wide. It holds us in the dark stillness of the night as we cry for dreams that will never be realized. It melts our hearts as Channing asks to look at Sophie's picture show time and time again and as he does, he tries to share with her his highly prized paci and still tickles her stinky toes. It endears to us a little boy who wears his halloween costume over his pajamas while he reads scary stories like a 'big tough guy'. And, it gives us the courage to face yet another day.