Bump

Well, perhaps not so much of a bump as a mountain.  Seriously.  Could this belly be any bigger??

I'd been holding off on sharing the belly pictures Melissa recently took for me as Sarah & I also had sister pics taken.  However, those images have yet to arrive in my inbox & I am anxious to share.  

Channing is obsessed with his little brother.  There are many, many belly pats and belly kisses.  We take turns feeling each other's tummies to see who's baby moves the most.  For the record, Channing's always wins. 

It took a little bribery to get him to take this image.  It's awfully cute though & I'm sure if you asked, he'd tell you posing for it was worth the five York Peppermint Patty Bites he was rewarded with.  

And then there's this last image.  I've been all a-tizzy with sewing project after sewing project getting ready for this wee one.  Our collaborative quilt is just awaiting it's 'made by...'patch.  It's lovely as you can glimpse here.  This picture was only partially posed.  I love this green chair.  I love the natural light that fills the nursery in the afternoon and early evening.  I find myself drawn to this corner for hand sewing and book reading and Pinterest gawking.  

Soon.  Very soon.  I'll post images of us rocking a wee babe in this very spot.  

Yea!

(A very special thank you to Melissa for taking the time to take these pictures.  XO!!)

Red Umbrella-I'm Done!!

Technically, this post is a week past due.  A week and two days past due to be precise.  On Friday, July 13, I sat in the chemo chair for the last time (pre-baby for sure, but hopefully for good!!).  See these faces?  Yep, that's pretty much how they looked thru the entire three-hour process.  We're ecstatic!  

I wasn't home post-chemo for more than 10 minutes when a knock at the door revealed this:

I know.  Beautiful, aren't they!!??!!  WM surprised me with a dozen sunflowers (my absolute favorite) for each round of chemo.  Six dozen sunflowers!!!  That man spoils me rotten.  Rotten!!  My two helpers were quick to get the stems cut and the blooms into vases.  They were strewn about the house all week.  Never before have I had flowers in practically every room in the house.  Even Channing selected a blossom to put on the dresser in his room.  

So, what now?  Well, I do have an appointment at the end of August to talk to my surgeon, Dr. O'Leary with regard to my double mastectomy.  When, with a newborn and a preschooler, is that going to be 'convenient'?  [Ahem.]  After the little guy's arrival, I will finally have the MRI that most cancer patients would have started their course of care with.  That is, at this point, all I know.  


Can I be honest?  I think I'm going to miss being bald.  Really.  I liked it.  My hair never did totally fall out.  It was just impossibly thin & gross.  I shaved my head every few days with an electric razor.  I burst into fits of uncontrollable giggles the night before my last chemo, having one of those 'never in my lifetime...' moments.  I was shaving my head in preparation to go out for dinner with WM & his family.  Shaving.  My.  Head.  for a date of sorts.  You know, like putting on make-up and jewelry.  I found it hysterical.  


A special thanks to my sister, Sarah, & her husband, Jesse, who let us crash their dinner the other night so that post-meal, Sarah could take a couple of pictures for me.  I needed a red umbrella shot for this post.  She captured it just perfectly-a little umbrella, a lotta belly.

As 'my' song goes, I'm gonna be OK so let it rain!!

Red Umbrella-Over the Hump

I just checked.  It's been well over a month since a Red Umbrella post appeared on this blog. A month!!  I think this picture about sums it up:

It's gone by in a blur.  I'm now more than halfway done with chemo.  I'll admit it is beginning to wear on me.  A pattern is beginning to emerge.  Treatment = instant reflux.  Food, even water, bounces up and down my innards like some sort of crazed express elevator.  Ever been on the Tower of Terror at Disney's MGM Studios?  Yeah.  It's sort of like that.  It makes sleeping, even sleeping while sitting up, difficult.  Sleep becomes an elusive friend.  At night, my dry mouth glues itself shut and I wake, choking.  No matter how much water I drink I. Don't.  Feel.  Hydrated.  

A week after treatment, the reflux is more under control, but the nausea and the fatigue sets in.  Taking a shower becomes a monumental task.  After 5 or so days of feeling like I'm newly pregnant again and, at times, overwhelmingly exhausted, it's over.  I feel almost normal.  

I'm not complaining.  I'm sharing.  I want others to be able to learn from this experience of mine.  There aren't many resources for pregnant women going through chemo.  This could all be so much worse.  I get that.  I am grateful it is not.

Baby Flynn continues to take it all in stride.  I am amazed.  I am awed.  I cannot wait to hold this little miracle of ours.  As with chemo, we're on the downward slope, being past the halfway point.  

Channing's been busy preparing for the Big Arrival.  He practices on his doll.  The clothes are changed frequently to allow for diaper changes and baths.  His baby is bottled and burped.  And loved.  

My oh my, how this wee one is loved.  It's a sign of what's to come and it makes this mama so very, very proud.  

Project 365-Week 4

Since sharing the most recent chapter in the crazy story I know as my life, family, friends and even complete strangers have been quick to share words of encouragement, offer help for when times get tough and to lift us up in hope and in prayer.  People have not only been generous with time, spirit and love, but in fun and unexpected ways too.


The mailman has started ringing the bell at our front door with more frequency.  Melissa started the trend with her wall hanging that reads We Can Do Hard Things.  Right on, Mel.  She knows it.  We have.  We can.  Aunt Kris surprised our family with Healthy Holly spirit bands.  They're now scattered from New Mexico to Ohio including lots of places in between.  Melinda sent a painted canvas.  I don't know if I was more touched by the verse on the canvas or the words on the enclosure that read 'The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths.  These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.'  Really?  Someone speaks those words in reference to little old me?  I am stunned.  I feel empowered.  I am reminded once again I can do this.  I can beat this ugly thing called cancer.  


The most unique gift so far?  From WM.  A 24K gold dipped peanut.  Yes, a real peanut.  If you shake it, you can hear the nuts rattle inside the shell.  It's in honor of our newest peanut.  I held it tightly in my hand at our first ultrasound on Wednesday, silently pleading 'please be OK.  please be OK' as the first images of Baby Flynn appeared on the monitor.  


When Sophie became our bitty angel last February, Kathy asked if she could give to me a piece of ruby jewelry (Sophie's birth stone) to wear in her honor.  I was to select the piece.  To make a very long story short, it wasn't until last fall that I found a necklace I was happy with.  However, the artist who designed it was not able to create it in white gold as I desired.  I was crushed to say the very least.  Skipping ahead, Kathy connected with Justin Koop, the son-in-law of Terry, one of her dear Cincinnati friends, in October.  He assured her the necklace could be created by Koop Diamond Cutters.  She and I were both amazed and excited.  I was shaking as, just before Christmas, I opened the folio that contained my Sophie necklace.  I was stunned.  The necklace was just how I intended for it to be, an imperfect circle with a tiny ruby dangling, off-center, just inside the edge.  Yes, it's fancy, but I do wear it most days and most especially on the days I go to the doctor be it the OB, the oncologist or the surgeon.  


Where am I going with this story?  Somewhere.  A surprising and good somewhere.  


Kathy called last Tuesday.  Could she come by the house after Channing's nap?  She had something she just had to give me.  She'd been teasing me for quite some time with regard to 'something sewing related' that she'd ordered online.  I figured it was finally, finally here and she was just too excited to wait to share it.  Channing and I were home.  There was plenty of time before his nap.  Sure.  Come on over!


She walked in a half hour later, a FedEx box in one hand, her camera in the other.  She barely said hello, just said to wait to open the box until her camera was on and ready.  This must be some incredible sewing greatness if it deserves a photo upon discovering what it actually is.  


This is what I found:

Nope.  This gift has nothing whatsoever to do with sewing.  Nothing.  Aren't they beautiful? I like the note that accompanied them.  "Extra power."  I'll take all the extra power I can get.  Every bit helps.  I'm still shaking my head in disbelief a week later.  Complete disbelief.  Justin, the mere words Thank You do not do the sentiment I hold in my heart justice, but I thank you just the same.  When we visited her Wednesday, my OB noticed them immediately.  She was visibly touched when I told her their story and agreed they do hold special power as she reviewed the first photos of Baby Flynn.  She raved over how pleased she was with regard to Baby's images, growth and strong, steady heartbeat.  

1.  Channing loves when the packages arrive too.  Most contain 'poppers'.  2.  Putting banana chap stick
on Daddy after he arrived home from NM  3.  Going for a ride at the MN Zoo  4.  All the ingredients for Kelli's
tasty Taco Soup  5.  Wrestling with WM.  For the record, WC won.  6.  Making diabetic strawberry banana cookies.
Good in theory.  They didn't taste very good when all was said and done.  7.  An attempt at a self portrait.  

I tried to take a picture of myself wearing my new earrings and sporting my new, short, in-anticipation-of-chemo 'do as part of the 365 Project this week.  Let's just say, I need a bit of practice in that regard.  Some people seem to have the knack for it.  Me?  I do not.  I definitely do not.